The traditional notion of the soul—as a divine, eternal spirit residing in our bodies—has long been rooted in religiosity. Today, many question this idea, challenging the belief that an immaterial essence governs our moral fabric and persists beyond our mortal lives. However, I am not here to debate immortality. Instead, I invite you to consider a different perspective: the inner composition of emotions, rationality, and thoughts that make you, you, and me, me.

At the core of my argument is the observation that we rarely interrogate our inner selves to uncover the foundations of our desires, actions, and beliefs. We often accept ideas—whether beneficial or toxic—without questioning why we value certain goals, relationships, or material comforts. Frequently, what we pursue acts merely as a temporary Band-Aid, masking a deeper wound that continuously affects our relationships, ambitions, and overall well-being.

So, what makes you, you? Have you ever paused to consider the nature of your inner dialogue? Do you approach life with optimism, pessimism, or indifference? And how do these attitudes shape not only your experience of life, but also the lives of those around you? When you find yourself seeking happiness in achievements, possessions, or relationships, ask: will these external validations truly satisfy your inner longing for peace?

The answers to these questions are rarely simple. But the terms in which we think and communicate can reveal much about our disposition. And if negativity flows out of us in response to conflict, compliments, or opportunities, it is important to understand why, and how it impacts you.

In our search for contentment, we may find that striving for constant happiness is an elusive goal. Personally, I have found that the desire for happiness is often conflated with a desire for peace. But happiness is fleeting, often interwoven with moments of sorrow and challenge. And the desire to be happy each day is a fantastical goal that can never be attained. This means that chasing that high—those experiences that brought you great joy—is a set up for failure because our day-to-day activities are inconsistent with pure happiness.

Instead, what if we shifted our focus from chasing happiness to simply being—existing in a state of inner neutrality where we are neither overwhelmed by joy nor consumed by despair? I ask this because peace and happiness are not equal. But seeking peace over happiness, in my opinion, creates happier people, as in this state of peace we can find a more stable and enduring form of fulfillment.

I have also found that our modern culture often places external gratification and validation on a pedestal, even though such sources rarely address the core of our emotional needs. Without internal validation—a deep-seated belief in our own worth—external rewards lose their power to heal. In other words, no amount of external praise or material success can mend the quiet pain of an unexamined inner life.

Yet, the journey inward is fraught with fear. We may shy away from introspection because it demands that we confront dark memories and hidden insecurities. We may choose to escape rather than to resolve. We may choose to bury instead of let die, concealing painful experiences in an attempt to keep them at bay. In doing so, we not only impede our growth but also compromise our peace and happiness. As a result, the unresolved parts of our past can resurface at unexpected moments, contaminating our present with inexplicable sorrow or anxiety. By neglecting our inner landscape, we allow unresolved demons to steer our lives, leading us to believe that external fixes can heal deep-seated wounds.

Interrogating our inner selves is no easy task. As the poet William Butler Yeats once said, “It takes more courage to examine the dark corners of your soul than it does for a soldier to fight on the battlefield.” This quote speaks to the inherent difficulty and bravery required to confront our deepest fears, insecurities, and recurring negative patterns. Yet it is precisely through such courageous introspection that we can begin to heal, grow, and truly understand ourselves.

For many, especially in racialized communities where introspection is often wrapped in religious tradition and cultural stigma, seeking help can be an even more daunting prospect. Historically, therapy and mental health care have been misunderstood or devalued in these communities, leaving many to suffer in silence. But just as we seek medical attention for a broken bone or a physical wound, we must also care for our emotional and psychological health. Therapy can offer a supportive space to explore and understand those buried parts of our soul, helping us break free from patterns that hinder our well-being.

Ultimately, the process of self-examination is both a personal and communal journey. By confronting our issues, letting go of what no longer serves us, and seeking assistance when needed, we create the possibility for true peace—a state of being that transcends the fleeting highs of external validation. It is through this inner work that we pave the way for authentic healing and transformation.

So, examine yourself, confront your shadows, and consider reaching out for help when necessary. In doing so, you are not only nurturing your mental health but also reclaiming the power to create a life defined by inner peace rather than external approval. Remember, true validation begins from within, and that is the key to lasting happiness.

Need mental health support? Check out these resources: 

• Toronto Mental Health Resources (uhn.ca)
• Mental health services – Canada.ca
• Understanding and Finding Help for Depression (cmha.ca)
• Find mental health support | Ontario.ca
• COVID-19: Mental Health Resources – City of Toronto
• How to access free mental health and emotional support during the COVID-19 crisis | CBC Life